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Grand Duchy of Yhael

Yhael is a country where people live. They’re probably mostly Southern Xhovians because it is in the south after all, but it may also have some Northern Xhovians because, despite being evil mysterious aliens, Xhovians do have legs and are thus capable of migrating to different areas of Alcia (South Baredina for those who who refuse to accept the new name). There may even be some Norjihanis or Juvensi, if the way Baredans have infected every other Xhovian country is anything to go on, but we can’t say for sure because it hasn’t been decided yet, and goïng to Yhael to conduct a demographics survey doesn’t seem to be an option now we’ve been informed that Sahar does not in fact exist.

Yhael probably has a government, as most countries tend to do, but the government hasn’t written to us to confirm nor deny this assumption, so again, nothing is certain. Sticking with the theme of how the Xhovian royal family just expands and expands at every opportunity, it was only logical to deduce that Yhael would be a Grand Duchy, and yet, Xhiu (through its human prophet, MultiNET) has communicated otherwise, suggesting that it may be destined to gain independence from Xhodiar when the Cannibal Emperor was distracted by some war or some death or dyings somewhere or something, but that’s obviously ludicrous because Yhael would never make it without at least having the support of some figurehead Xhovian monarch influencing something, ennit.

Yhael is pretty unremarkable- it’s to the AU as the numerous Eastern European countries nobody’s ever heard of are to the EU. Like Estonia or Slovenia. Though it’s probably more like Albania as a country. People in Yhael speak Yoesal. People in Yhæl speak Yœsal. People in Yhael and Yhæl spoke Yhael or Yhæl, but then Xhiu decided to remake (and in the process ruin) the language, so now they speak the one with a name containing an œthel rather than an æsc. The country itself may come to need to be renamed, but that’s a lot of effort so it’s likely the government will end up stumbling across a random, forced etymology that was left out in the sun to dry by divine forces.

It’s a fairly cold place, and there may be some earthquakes, but that’s okay because Yaina invented earthquake-proof buildings made out of jelly before its technocratic government voted to teleport to the fourth dimension. Nobody has heard from Yaina since, nor has the Yhaelian (new word, funny because it sounds like alien) Foreign Office been able to thank them for their deliciously stable skyscrapers, but the correspondence is likely just getting confused by the extra dimension and heading to the wrong universe, rather than the lack of success in establishing contact being through lack of trying. There are some mountains somewhere, though the precise number of mountains may change according to whether Sahallah decides the tectonics are going to have to change again, which would be very disruptive to the cartography industry, but what can one do?

The Æliens may have some money, and it may be printed by the AU if the Norjihanis don’t get their way, but how much of that money they will have will be another issue entirely. It will be below a trillion dollars, and it’ll probably come from selling water and dust or sentient robots, knowing how undeveloped the economy in the South of the South of the continent is in comparison to the financial and interdimensional travel industries’ success in the North of the South of Baredina.

Peasants and rich people alike spend all their waking hours making disturbing clicking and choking noises. It’s a wonder they don’t just give up on their national language and commission a bunch of Niofean linguists to make something easier to pronounce for them, although such a change would render Yhael totally unworthy of any attention whatsoever, since its language is the only interesting feature about any aspect of anything within its borders.









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See also